I wore a fitting top today. Most of my clothes are baggy over my tummy. But i thought fuck it.
Ive been so awkward at work. I keep telling myself that people wear tummy revealing clothes all the time and most people dont notice it. But i felt super self conscious.
I kept holding my tummy in all day. At varying degrees. I think ppl could tell im not comfortable.
Around lunch time i saw the crush and went back to my office to avoid him. While eating at the canteen he came to join my friend and i and i was so awkward. I didnt know how to sit or what to do.
I had nothing at work to cover me. Not a scarf. Not a jersey. And i recently put back all the weight i lost in october.
Im thinking that i need to make this my new normal for me to become more accepting and loving of myself. To be more comfortable in my skin.
Hiding allows me to believe that i can hide. When the truth is that i cant.