This just in

So I just happened to find out my ex from 2012 just moved to the city I live in and works at my old office.  He also works less than 5 min away from me.

Just find it weird. 

Especially since he lived here before I moved here and I ended up renting a space three min away from the apartment his mother bought. I’m hoping she sold it… Cos if not, it means he’s living 3 min away from me.

Things ended really badly between us. He borrowed a lot of money and stuff from me which he never paid back or returned. 

We’d spent three months together before I moved here. I was naive and left him most of my stuff cos he didn’t have anything.

Only to move here and be completely repulsed by him. He’d be broke every month, buy alcohol and not have money for electricity. Hed visit strip clubs and get dances. His phone was fill of porn…  Hot naked woman. I once downloaded hot naked men to tick him off and he was extremely upset.

He once used my ipad and read all my emails and Facebook messages. Found out I slept with a guy and then created a fake email address and sent me emails pretending to know about the guy and I while threatening to tell my bf. He also once left his porn on my ipad… He’d searched clean shaven women… And made me feel extremely bad about my pubic hair. He also never went down on me. The one time I asked him to, he accused me of cheating.

He’d take ugly photos of me eating to try and make me lose weight (I’d put on weight). He’d call me depressed cos he thought I was cheating on him. He didn’t like me ever going out or having fun.

When we fought he would shut me up by asking me to marry him. On the third time I said okay let’s get married and he couldn’t respond.

He never washed on weekends.  He once came to meet my friend and I without having showered.

He also once drove to see me after I moved but didn’t have enough petrol to drive back. So I had to fork out money for him.

Then after we broke up, he’d tweet and Facebook shit about me (as he’d done with an ex) calling me crazy or fat. We’d worked together and had tons of colleges as mutual friends and followers.

He’d shown naked photos I’d sent him as his long distance gf to his new gf who apparently looked like me and everyone kept calling her my name. I know this cos a mutual friend told me that the girl went up to her and said that she’d seen my pics and she looked nothing like her. I believed her cos when I started dating him, I saw his exes naked photos… A girl he’d proposed to after three months. 

In the end, I was so angry that I sent a mass email calling him out on all his bs and asking him to pay me back. When he didn’t respond, I included his family. Even his mother. I’m not proud of it, and haven’t told any of my friends the truth about what I’d done. A lot of woman I worked with took his side and told him not to stress about it. 

After the family email, he attempted to tell my family that I slept with a married man before dating him. 

I considered taking him to court for my money but my friend said I had no proof. No contracts, no invoices… Nothing. Hed lived with me for free for three months. Taken my fridge,  couch and most loved cd player (that I still wish I could get back – it was the shape of a guitar and I tried to buy one from the UK last year but it was too expensive to ship), all of which I told my parents I’d sold. I’d given him money for electricity and petrol.

He’d lied to me about his finances. And his passed.  He order fours drinks for every one drink I’d had and then ask to split the bill in the middle. He was filthy – didn’t know how to clean or cook. 

I was naive then. I had a very very low self esteem. He was the first guy who looked at me like I was worthy. And not just a lay. 

He never paid me back. Never responded. Last year I apologised for the emails and he said thanks. I guess that’s when he unblocked me from Facebook.  I only noticed today when he commented on the status of a mutual friend and I could see his name.

The worst part is,  in comparison to all the men I’ve been with or liked, he’s among those who’ve treated me the best. That’s how despicable the men I’ve been with have been. 

However remembering all this makes me remember where I was then. And i can’t blame myself for missing out on opportunities.  I was extremely broken. And though I may have missed my chance, this is my moment to rise again and to get my power back.


One thought on “This just in

  1. Make a list of all the things he did to you. On the same paper make a a list of all the things current boyfriend has done to you. Then find how many similarities there are between the two. It might shine a light on the kind of men you end up with. Why? Because you don’t think you deserve better. Or because you think that’s all that want you.

    Stay strong. I hope that one day you can look back on this current asshole and feel the exact same way about him as you do this loser.


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