Im sharing this because I can’t accept it… And I don’t have the words to explain why

What Love Looks Like When Your Boyfriend Has A Wife – http://thoughtcatalog.com/anonymous/2017/04/what-love-looks-like-when-your-boyfriend-has-a-wife/

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5 thoughts on “Im sharing this because I can’t accept it… And I don’t have the words to explain why

  1. I apologize for not having had the time yet to read through your blog. I will get there. While I was at a hair appointment this morning, however, I did read through the attached link, and I do have a lot of words to explain why I also cannot accept it. I’ll try to be brief, but I am super wordy. 🙂

    First, I guess it is not our responsibility to accept the life or actions of the person who wrote that entry, the mistress. But she put it out there for the world to see, trying to rationalize her actions, so she invited the dialogue. I have learned through a lot a pain and heartache that there just are people out there who don’t get it. We are all broken in some ways and clearly anyone who would have a relationship with a married man is shutting down what she knows is right to validate her own wants. She wants to be loved and wanted and needed and talked to. Unfortunately, the man she chose to do this with belongs to someone else. If he was planning on leaving his wife, it seems like he already would have, right? She doesn’t really talk much about why he hasn’t left his wife to be with her… the story of the mistress (and I have read a lot of them) is they believe they are a better partner. They believe they are giving the man something he needs and that he is not getting, and they are most often free with sex, any time, all the time, whatever. A sexual relationship is not necessarily an intimate one. The mistresses believe they are special to that man and therefore are validating their own worth. That’s a really unhealthy place to be… where the theoretical love from a taken man is all you have to validate yourself. She also believes the wife is an angry bitch, or at least that is what I read from her words. Well… hello? Who wouldn’t be angry? First, the wife has been lied to, repeatedly. She has been betrayed, wronged, humiliated over and over. Does the mistress really expect her to be sweet and kind when confronted with the lies and cheating? But the bigger deal, is that I’m sure the relationship between the wife and her husband started much the same way the relationship started between the mistress and the married man. It all starts fun, and loving, and kind, and nurturing, and then someone fucks it up. In my case, it was also my husband. He lied to me repeatedly, and then lied by omission. Mostly I was sad when I found out, but yeah, I was angry too. I built a life with a broken man who lies and who sought out other women because it was easier that way. It was easier to medicate his wounds with sex with another woman than it was to come clean to me. My husband is immature, broken, and a coward. He’s working on it. Until that married man wakes up and realizes he is a huge dick who needs to get to the problem of why he is a coward, its not going to work with any woman. If the marriage is to blame for his problems, and generally it isn’t, divorce and move on… why don’t they? because most of them don’t really want that. They want a quick fix sexual relationship with an equally broken woman who will give them what they want when they want it… a warm body and a sympathetic ear. Most likely the wife stays with the cheater because she loves him and believes he can be a better husband. Some of these men are lost causes. However, in that scenario the mistress is merely going to get a broken down man who cheats. She will eventually be the angry wife. Sigh.

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  2. I skimmed, because I don’t have time to be sick this morning. But WOW. These women are a special kind of delusional. Sure, we can file these OWs (and OMs, I guess) under the heading of broken, like the married men (and women) who cheat with them, but their whole way of thinking is just …crazy. One of the biggest things I can’t understand is how/why they believe that a married man will lie to his wife, but not to the OW. Not to mention, this chick says she didn’t know in the beginning that he was married, but no matter how much she liked him (or whatever she thinks it was), how was she not completely infuriated and disgusted that that jerk didn’t reveal such a critical piece of information. There is a whole lot of emotional immaturity and profoundly disturbing lack of personal integrity in them all.

    Also, how lucky for me that my husband DID find one of the alleged few (according to the author of that drivel) who deliberately sought out married men, and whose goal was absolutely to break up a marriage. Awesome! Thanks, hubs.

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