I blame Hollywood 

I disappeared for a while. Was trying to decipher how I felt after my last session with my therapist. But thats for another blog.

On the plus side, I’ve been gyming.  Not every day but I’m feeling more active. I joined a lady from works walking group so I feel more social. 

Today I lost my challenge to make it to work every day on time. One week before the end. But I didn’t feel bad because it wasn’t because I couldn’t wake up. I actually had a productive morning. I had just forgot my lunch and turned back to get it. So technically I would have made it on time.

Anyway, i was logging the movie What’s Your Number yesterday. It’s not a great film but it made me realise how much romantic comedies screw you up.

Chris Pine is a man whore. He sleeps with random women, treats them like shit, lies, disappears, has no money, is not willing to work odd jobs to make his life better until his dream reaps rewards … In real life’s he abhorrent. A typical a hole who treats you like shit. 

Only the movie makes him adorable.  It makes you like him, because he’s charming and suave and sexy and in some weird way seems to care about the lead. But in reality, he’s only playing her because she’s the only woman to not be interested in him and to reject his passes. And that’s what really intrigues him about her.

And in the end, she believes that he’s her true love.  That he’s better than the perfect guy who treats her well and is rich and who her family love. Because the great guy just didn’t get her and didn’t have that connection and the bad guy was true love because he accepted her exactly as she was.

The worst part is I completely related to the movie. It felt like a legit commentary on my life.

My family and their expectations.  Me trying to find the perfect guy who they’ll accept while wasting time with low grade douchebags who make me feel something while I wait.

And my ex… My ex was a carbon copy of Chris Pine.  I could tell him anything about me. I could go on and on about things I was too scared to tell anyone else and he never made me feel judged. He never comented on it in a way that made me feel like he now saw me differently. 

And that was my biggest problem with Darcy.  He commented on everything I did. And it annoyed me because I felt like I couldn’t just be me.

Sigh!

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