Circles

I feel like writing has become tedious.  It’s the same thing over and over. 

Sometimes I feel like the only reason I haven’t gone back to him this time is because people know. People would judge be.

I woke up feeling strong and calm and ready. But my day beat me down.

My boss was on my head again today. I feel like I’m his target this week. 

Im trying to get back to that strong place but I just don’t feel it anymore.  I just want to go back to my room, curl into a ball and sleep.

I don’t like myself much right now. I kissed Darcy which was a stupid stupid thing. Somewhere my day just went wrong. And when it went wrong I just wanted to tell my ex.  I just wanted him to hold me.

I hate this place.  I need a new job. I can’t even take my boss on cos he’s right.  I was just his target this week. 

I should be excited that it’s finally the weekend but I’m not.

I’m not strong enough to get through this moment.   I’m not. And I can’t pretend to be anymore. 

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3 thoughts on “Circles

  1. You can make it through. I also have lost the ability to deal with my job that I’m totally fed up. I feel your pain. At least if you want to lay in your bed all day, you won’t have to go to work!

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  2. Maybe thinking people would judge you for going back to him right now is some good added incentive. I can appreciate that sometimes my friends holding me accountable when I feel otherwise weak is what gets me through. Whatever gets you through. Without going back to him, of course.

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