Stuff like this angers me


I get it. It has both sides of the story.  But hearing this song hurt. I felt like I could hear all the women my ex slept with singing this to my face.

Lyrics chorus:

You say that’s your boyfriend
You say I’m out of line
Funny he said I could call him up anytime
You can say I’m wrong say I ain’t right
But if that’s you boyfriend he wasn’t last night

It reminds me of bs the 23 year old would put up on her instagram. A hahaha I got your man. He spent last night with me. Call the cops if you stealing your man.

It reminds me of a colleague who laughed at her brothers girlfriend. Said he slept around all the time and the gf was such an idiot to think he was being loyal to her. When I asked why she didn’t tell her. Her response was “it ain’t my issue”. Even though she had been cheated on before.

It angers me. Deeply. In a shameful embarrassing way.  I wanted to delete my friend who had shared this song. I wanted to scream at any woman who high fives a cheating husband or boyfriend. 

The friend was one of those who slept with a married man unknowingly and when his wife called she told her that she wants nothing to do with her issues. Why not just tell her? Why not ease her mind?

I once got yelled at by a friend for trying to contact the other women for the truth.  In my experience, when I was contacted and became aware that I was unknowingly the other woman , we shared our experiences and supported each other. And we still talk. Like grown ass emotionally mature women.

But in reaching out to the other women for the truth, i had her and a bunch of female friends tell me that I’m crazy. I was screamed at by my ex for harassing an innocent girl. And it was all bs. And no one could just tell me the truth.  No one could set me free.

Yes it wasn’t their job to set me free. Yes I should have a high enough sense of self worth to just walk away from someone who wasn’t treating me well. But just because I couldn’t love myself enough, doesn’t mean I deserved to be treated like shit, lied to, abused and now be in damage of getting an sti.

I’m the believer of openness. Stop lying for the cheater. Stop allowing him to continue. I think about the woman. The pain. How he puts her life at risk every time they sleep together. I’ve tried ratting out two married men that I knew were cheating in situations where I knew the wife. Both times they stayed and that was their choice. Its cool.  But at least someone told them

I’m tired of people saying you should have known. It was so obvious he was cheating. I told him to tell you the truth. Don’t make your problems my problems. 

Where is the humanity? Where is the love for your fellow women?

I’m just so angry right now.


6 thoughts on “Stuff like this angers me

  1. I’ve always been of the frame of mind that garbage doesn’t get stolen by trash pickers.

    I’ve also said – and please pardon the vulgarity – “Men would be fucked, if women ever had each other’s backs.”

    And I’m always amazed at how some women think they’ve some how won a prize when claiming a man that has no loyalty.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. These thoughts have been mine exactly. Specifically when walking the dog yesterday i was asking myself how some people can know of cheating and cheaters and not care. How can you be friends with someone who is so significantly screwing over someone? It boggles the mind.

    Also this:
    “Yes I should have a high enough sense of self worth to just walk away from someone who wasn’t treating me well. But just because I couldn’t love myself enough, doesn’t mean I deserved to be treated like shit, lied to, abused and now be in damage of getting an sti.”

    This is my life right now!!! So nice to know I am not alone!

    Keep fighting.


    1. I read a blog today by someone who had cheated and who had seen a couple in a bar- the woman appearing cold and angry and the man crying and depressed. I tried telling her that the woman is only trying to be strong. Her whole world has just collapsed and the guy is feel sorry cos he was caught. All it is is self pity. He doesn’t care about her. And he never did.

      Because when you cheat you have a choice to make. You can choose to end things. You can choose to talk about things and make things work. You know that your partner is waiting for you at home with arms wide open and an open loyal heart and you choose to destroy them by sleeping with someone else. Sometimes over an over with different women/men knowing that your partner will always be at home.

      The bloggers message was that people don’t really understand the cheater and don’t feel sorry for them.

      I can never feel sorry for a cheater. I loved my ex from the depths of my soul. I saw all his wounds and imperfections and all his brokenness and I tried to be there for him in every way I could. But you can’t help someone heal when they don’t want to. When they don’t care about you or love you. When they just use you and lie to you.

      Cheaters are self absorbed and even when they try to make amends it’s still all about them.

      I’m sorry. Today I’m angry. It’s a process for me. The hurt has layers. Every day I’m unpacking a different memory… Once it may by been a good memory. Now it’s just lies…

      My ex was destructive and he destroyed me in the process. There’s no remorse, no concern, no apology, no reassurance.

      I had faith that he was willing to change after the first incident two years ago. He just got better at lying and making me feel crazy.

      I hope that I can be there for you. In this moment. I’ve been following the tag infidelity and it’s been helping me to understand how I feel… Reading other people’s blogs and feeling their pain. Thank you for the comment. I’m sorry about my outburst

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No apologies needed. I blogged today about some super similar stuff. Finally actually tried to have a conversation with him about it and he really blamed it on his addiction. But really, for like 8 months? I dont believe it. I re-read the email he wrote to his ex which seemed totally put together and well thought out and indicated they had been talking and spending alot of time together and that he wanted to only be with her. I kept asking him how he could do that while he was still with me. He said he didnt mean it. Thats so much time and effort to invest in something you didn’t mean.

        I also have mad days and sad days and days i cant get anything done and days i can. In the end im trying to realize though this hurts like hell and what he did is never ok, even of his version of the story is true, but that i decided to be done. I knew id never trust him again and though i want to believe him it doesnt fix it. It doesnt change anything. Hes gone and its really really really hard to accept that is a good thing theyre gone when you still love them. Its a daily struggle i am going through too.

        We are here for you.


  3. People who cheat on their significant others are cowards. They don’t have the gumption to end it. I would have had so much more respect for an ex who consistently cheated on me if he just ended up when he wanted to cheat. Don’t want commitment? Don’t pretend to be committed, then.
    Then, out of the nowhere, you realize you’re the strong one and not him. I went through a similar situation over 10 years ago (*points at self* OLD) and I’ve been stronger since.


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