A full 180

Omw. I feel high.  And light. I feel like i can get through this. I feel confident again.  And amazing. 

Went to see a therapist.  Well two. It was a strange experience.  The couple sits with you together. They made me coffee and provided snacks and gave me a blanket. It was from 8pm to 10pm.

They connected things that I’d never connected. Explained things. Gave me a plan to move forward.

I felt high afterwards. It was a 40 min drive there and back but I loved it. 

Driving home, looking at the bright yellow full moon, I felt whole again. I felt like me again.  I still cried a little there and back… But it felt like I was moving forward again. 

I have a plan now. I have a path.

They explained things to me. I’ve been to many shrinks and for the first time, my cutting was broken down into why I do it. Normally I’d mention it and it was just never mentioned.  My kinesiologist said it was the devil lol. 

But they explained it to me. I knew I cut myself because I was in pain. But apparently the pain creates and aggression and because I’m soft I don’t take this aggression out on others. I take it out on myself. 

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