With every break up, or disappearance of a loved one or a crushing of spirit by them, I examine myself.
What if the next time they saw me I was thin and extremely successful, then would they regret it?
I’ve actually avoided every situation that could’ve led to seeing the man responsible for my first heart ache… Because I’m not there yet. I’m not thin and beautiful and successful. If he saw me now he’d say thank gosh i escaped that.
Sure, I think that about him when I look at photos of him now. And every other guy I ever believed would stay in my life. But i never want them to think of me that way.
I’m so tired. Made it on time to work three days this week. Maybe next week I can add gym. Just to keep my emotions in check for now. To make me feel better.