Today didn’t start of positive.
I dragged myself out of bed, destroyed by the accusations of my Daniel Cleaver this weekend and continued to be plagued by my persistently annoying Mark Darcy… Who i had attempted to cut off convinced he’s a Cleaver in disguise.
My heart just wanted to be alone.
But as the day warmed by the comfort of routine, I started thinking about me again.
Me. I’m great. None of it was me.
I tell myself that to keep moving forward and i start to feel a little lighter. And when I do, it’s as if a dark cloud thins and I remember the things I want.
I want to start gyming again.
I want to put more effort into how I look. Not grab a used pair of jeans and hoodie out the wash.
I want to clear out my space.
I want to send out my cv and hope that I find something that reawakens my passion and soul.
And the biggest thing. I want to be done with boys. All boys. All narcissistic, sociopathic fuktards. I know why they take me. I know why I crave them. So for now I’m done with the male species until I’m strong enough again to only let a real man into my heart.
And lastly, I want to refind my joy in being me.
Fuk friends. Fuk boys. Fuk the need for company.
If I want to Road trip , I’m going to do it solo.