I feel like I’m living the Bridget jones story. Well act one and two at least.
I fell in love w a colleague. Who i had wanted for months before we hit it off. He was quirky and crazy and fun and we connected instantly. We also slept together the first time we went out. My Hugh Grant. He had me wrapped around his finger. He cheated and lied and made me feel like an idiot. He never owned up to anything. He broke my heart.
Enter guy two. My Darcy. He’s been liking me from the sidelines for a while. He’s sweet, dorky… Kinda stiff. I’m not genuinely attracted to him but he like likes me. As I am. And it feels genuine and sincere. He doesn’t want my body. He wants to take me out on dates. And do things together. He’s gentle and slow and subtle…
The difference to Bridget jones is they don’t know each other. And I don’t anticipate my ex ever coming back after realising that I’m the one. Especially not after our last phonecall.
I’m not ready to love again. My heart just wanders in search of my ex. But my head is here with Darcy…. I’m trying to retrain myself. I’m done with man childs who never grow up. Who just want to drink and shag and party.
I don’t know if I’ll ever fall as crazily in love with a Darcy. And that’s a good thing, because love shouldn’t make you feel crazy.
There’s also another guy that I like. That I could see myself with. Who’s sweet and gentle and kind. A little moody but mostly sweet. Only he.doesnt seem attracted to me. He drove w me at 11pm to bail my ex on a Sunday… Because he didn’t want me to drive alone.
I know I should be alone right now. I should work on me. And I am. Little by little I feel more like myself again. Stronger. Secure.
My ex may have broken me but he didn’t kill me.
I’m still standing. And i know that I’m amazing. That I’m a keeper. That any man should be lucky to be with someone like me.
I know that now.