The subtle ways he broke me

Can someone please tell me why I want him back so badly? Is it ego? Denial? Disbelief?  Low self esteem? Loneliness?

All I can think about is how much he hurt me. But because he was my comfort for so long,  all I want is for him to hold me and make it go away.

I’ve been thinking about the subtle ways he broke me down. I imagine going for couple counselling and them making it all better. Wave a magic wand and we work again.  We’re good again. 

Things he’d say:

“it’s because of you I’m angry”

“you always know how to.push my buttons” 

“you don’t know how to communicate” 

“I wish u knew how to talk to me”

“now you’re gonna go and cut yourself”

“I’m disappointed in you”

“you just can’t trust me”

“you just won’t believe how much I love you”

“you don’t see how much I do.for you”

“are you going to send me another email”

“you keep saying things and apologising”

“you don’t know what you want”

I don’t know. Do these even sound like abuse?

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6 thoughts on “The subtle ways he broke me

  1. It sounds like his way of projecting his crap onto you. Saying “It’s because of you, I’m angry” …. that’s a crap thing to say to someone. The other ones, I don’t know if one person can definitively classify something as abuse or not – it’s about how it makes you feel when he says these things to you.I see in your other post that you messaged him – that’s bound to happen. I did the same thing with my abuser and my husband before he came back. It’s hard to let go of what you know. It’s hard to move on to something that is unknowing. It’s just hard, but it must be done.

    Like

      1. I read an awesome piece of advice… “you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who is just as invested in it as you are and who fully reciprocates your love. Someone who wants to be with you and chooses to be with you” now I just got to repeat that to myself 100 times.

        Liked by 1 person

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