When you are alone, have no friends and going through a deep well of self hate, break ups are the epitome of excruciating.
Things I learnt, you can’t keep an ex as company. As strong and together and ok with the break up as you may think you feel, at some point lines will blur and things will explode.
Walk away when they explode. No contact. No anything.
Somehow you slowly need to rebuild yourself. Work on you. Exercise. Explore. Do things for yourself. Somehow you have to motivate yourself to feel alive again.
Don’t rush into anothing relationship or a big decision. It’s not worth it. When it fails it just another mess to clean.
So what if he believes you weren’t worth the effort? Was he? Why did you do so much for someone who gave you nothing in return? Stop it. Stop doing more. Stop giving. He’ll keep taking from you but he won’t take you back.
Let go. Give up. Somehow keep living.