All the reasons I’m worth it

So what if my ex thinks I’m not worth the effort? The truth is he wasn’t worth my effort,  but I kept giving because I didn’t love myself enough to step away. I just wanted someone to love me.

Yes I did love him. But I didn’t respect myself to walk away or step back when I should have.

I gave more of myself then I should have. I allowed boundaries to be passed that I wasnt comfortable with.  And worst, I got nothing in return. No support, no birthday presents, no respect, no loyalty…

He may have a million reasons for why breaking up with me is right.  How the grass is greener on the other side. How some other woman will be more supportive and be a better fit for him.

He may even have a line up of women waiting to be with him.

But I don’t care. I’m done thinking about him. He told me this weekend that a guy told me that I’m the type of girl you marry. But evidently I’m not the girl he wants to marry. 
Three years in and he has issues moving in with me when I’m desperate for someone to help me with my rent. He’d rather me live with a stranger.  He rather move with his 28 yr old sister to a suburb 50 minutes away from me… Instead of try to be closer. And he’s 33.
Wtf is wrong with me?

The amount of bs I’ve put up with in relationships because I believed I was second grade. That I was fat. That being fat made me less beauty. That men only stay with woman cos of how they look. That I had to work harder because I looked less than averagely pretty.

It’s all bs.

I’m amazing.

I’m adventurous. 

I love trying new things.

I’m 100 % loyal.  You never have to stress. 

I’m a great cook 

I’m caring. 

I take care of my partner in every way. I also make a great nurse when they sick.

I’m independent. 

I work hard to earn my own money.

I give awesome massages. 

I’m extremely understanding. 

I apologise when I’m wrong. 

I’m constantly trying to better myself and the relationship. 

I’m funny.

I’m fun.

I’m intelligent. 

I’m happy with minimum effort. 

I’m easy.

I don’t judge you for where you are in life.

I do expect support but I give lots of it too.

I’m a really good listener.

I love to dance.

I’m quirky and cute.

I also add dates and work to keep the relationship alive.

I’m creative.

I’m an excellent cuddle. 

I have pretty features.

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2 thoughts on “All the reasons I’m worth it

  1. I’m glad you are recognizing your self-worth. And also remember to tell yourself … “I am not fat. I HAVE fat …” there is a difference. Your size doesn’t determine your beauty. I know some beautiful skinny women with the ugliest souls. What a waste of a person.

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    1. Thanks. I was really angry and depressed and only focusing on the rel and then my friend put it into perspective for me. She said “I think he’s got too much on his plate n u shouldn’t try to fix him. I don’t think he can help u n support u bcos his life is hectic n he’s priorities are diff. N the thing is u need and deserve to be a prority. I think he tries but he’s at a diff point in his life. N life is all abt timing. U kp getting hurt bcos he just isn’t doing what u need him to.” in the past I believed that the right thing to do was stay until he was capable of being there for me. But she’s right. We kept fighting cos we were at different spots on the maslow hierarchy of needs. I was ready to love and be love and have a future with someone. He was still sorting out his basic needs. Finding a place to stay. Finishing his degree. Protecting his sister.

      I still feel exhausted. Completely lacking in energy. Started logging meals yesterday as u had suggested. But I feel worn out. I just want to eat a pizza and two min noodles every night for the week. Lol

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