I feel strangely ok with everything. I don’t know if I’ve accepted it. But I feel okay. Not torn. Not broken. Not angry.
I’ve always experienced, in times of difficulty, a proverbial pat on the back from the universe. An it’s gonna be okay. Usually by a random message from a friend I haven’t heard from in forever. Or someone I never thought of more than an acquaintance who is in my face trying to assist me.
I was stressing about my trip that I had planned with the bf in three weeks that I already paid for and couldn’t cancel. I was going to give him a week to reconsider. But this morning a guy comes hassling me with questions And then invites himself on the trip without me asking. For a moment I thought what if the ex comes back. It’s unlikely. But I’d planned it with him… I guess the universe is trying to tell me to move on.
I also left my place today with a sense of finality. I looked up at it and it felt like goodbye. Not that I’m leaving it. I’ll be back there this evening… But I felt lighter. I don’t know. Maybe I left a part of me in there last night writing all those emails.
I’m starving but I don’t want to eat. I don’t feel like eating. I’m not craving anything. Not sweet. Not salty. Not spicy.
I feel like i just am right now.
I had a pokemon go dream last night. I dreamt I caught a dragonite. And that I was hiding my capture goldmine from the world.
Damn… Just saw another response to my batch of apology emails… Don’t think I can read it…. Argh… But that’s another post.