The red flags I ignored

Reasons why I should have left him ages ago and never looked back:

He had cheated on me.

When he came back months later, he told me he didn’t want a relationship. 

I caught him lying about little things,  like where he was.

I found out he was flirting with an ex who he had introduced to me as his cousin.

He told me he couldn’t be there for me.

He told me I was emotionally manipulating him when I was deeply upset and crying.

He never held me when I cried.

He continually numbed himself with alcohol and weed

He was incapable of being there when I needed him

He took my car without asking me while I was away and lied about it

After this, while I assumed we were rebuilding trust, he started flirting with another woman. 

For six months, he didn’t kick the woman out of his life despite me having an issue with her. He also went back to chatting to her every time we fought. Until I found out that she was telling people he was her boyfriend. 

He took drugs behind my back and lied about it.

He never made plans with me.  I made all the plans and then he wouldn’t remember them. I spent a lot of time cancelling and rebooking.

He made my plans to do things feel like a burden..  Like he could be doing something else even though I told him about it way in advance

In two years he never bought me a gift on my birthday or v day or just because he felt like it.

He didn’t contribute

He didn’t give much of himself in the relationship 

He told me not to rely on him. He told me that i should make other friends so my load didn’t fall all on him.

He didn’t wanna even consider moving in with me when I was about to get kicked out

He disappeared a lot. He wouldn’t answer his phone for hours. Sometimes for a whole weekend. 

He never kept in touch with me when I was away.

He’s hurt me deeply.  

He often didn’t keep his word.

He make wild promises and forget them.

He has a temper and broke things in my apartment on more than one occasion 

He didn’t even offer to make me soup when I was sick

He never made moments about me. Everything was usually about him.

He told me straight that his sister was the only priority in his life

He’d expect me to drop everything for other people’s last minute plans without checking in to see if there’s anything I wanted to do

He never had time to work on the relationship.  I made an effort of collecting articles and buying a book but he was never keen to work at things

He didn’t make time to talk when we had issues.  Most things got swept under a carpet after hanging for too long


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