While I was away…

So on top of everything said and done, I go to collect my car after leaving it with the bf. I was gone for 4 days. Four. He was mia for most of three days.

On 3 days, when we spoke he made it seem like he just chilled and never really went anywhere. He was asleep. Or his whatsapp was faulty. Or he couldn’t answer his phone. 

Today I get my car back and the millage shows he drove over 400 km. 400. That’s over four hours of non traffic driving. I do approximately 1000km a month. And he did 400 in a weekend and never mentioned anything to me.

Am I being irrational and picky for no reason? Am I being psycho by questioning what he was up to?

I know he’s not cheating. I know he’s depressed.  I did tell him to take a drive to the beach or something to feel better. 

But I expected max 200km used. And 200 is still alot. Especially when he didn’t go to work at all. Especially when he never told me he went anywhere. He just said he’s home and was unavailable to answer his phone for hours on end.

When I asked him now, he mentioned two trips.  Said he went to see his godmother in paarl… Which is also where the sidechick stays…. But she hasn’t been in touch with him for atleast two months and I felt the difference. 

The two trips would have added max 200km to the clock. 

Am I being overbearing by questioning him? Should I just accept that I left him my car and therefore he could do what he wanted.

It also sucks cos he told me he wants to sleep all weekend. When we’re together on weekends he just wants to stay in. And now bamn… 400km. And he bunked work for two days. And he never stayed in touch with me.

Am I an idiot?


3 thoughts on “While I was away…

  1. You aren’t an idiot … however you are way too accepting of letting this man walk all over you. There are steady signs of cheater – and they are always the same signs. Cheating is a universal thing with all of the same signs.

    They don’t answer their phone, and they make up excuses for why they didn’t.

    They lie to you about where they are going and where they have been.

    They are distant and aloof.

    They deflect their crap onto you. Sometimes you will be the one accused of doing something wrong when it’s them that are doing the wrong.

    You don’t tell someone you’re depressed, lie about staying in all weekend, and then drive all over hell and back in a car that isn’t yours and don’t have the foresight to think that maybe the miles are being logged. If he had of thought about that fact, he would have had an excuse ready to go. Sometimes it’s good that men are so ….. lazy about covering their tracks. It makes it easier to catch them in their lies.

    But at the end of the day, you are the one that has to decide you are worth more than this. Until then, he will treat you exactly how he wants to.


    1. It’s so hard to move on… I miss the little things. Talking, eating together, the way he loved hanging out with my cat. Plus I’m completely alone in my current city. I come home to an empty flat. No furniture. Just two rooms of silence and my bedroom. Just feels unbearable. Not that I’m scared to be alone. I’ve been single most of my life. I love it. I just deeply miss him

      Liked by 1 person

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