The more I think about it, the more I don’t want to move. I feel myself holding on to the hope that he’ll come back. That’ll he’ll realise he made a hasty decision in anger. That he’ll be ready to love me completely.
Writing it, I know it’ll never happen. He’d rather live with his decision than admit he was wrong.
My issue is it came out of nowhere. I thought things were finally going well. There were a few bumps cos both our lives were stressful. But there was nothing seriously wrong.
I haven’t slept all day despite all the meds I’ve taken for the flu. Every hour or so, a wave of sadness hits me and I sob uncontrollably. And for a moment I’m ok until the next wave.
There’s few things worse than being alone when you are sick and the fridge is empty and outside the rain is relentless… With a fever and intense body aches.
Why does life have to be so hard?
I’m tired. I’m broken. I want out