It’s been a helluva emotional week for me. I got involved in something I shouldnt have and now I feel burnt out.  My whole body feels tense and held together. I cried most of last night. I thought I’d wake up feeling better, but o haven’t. 

I have plans today and tomorrow with the bf and friends.  I just don’t wanna see them. I just want to run in the opposite direction right now.

Once again I put my all into helping people who really don’t care about me.  Who’d never be there for me. Who even when I ask for help, I just get forgotten. 

Sure sometimes I forget too but eventually I’d remember and I’d check in. 

I’m not perfect. J probably let people down all the time. And I’ve come to accept that I’m alone in this world. All I’ve ever wanted was one person.  To be my partner in crime.  I’ve given up. I’ve accepted that life is not a movie. Everyone has their own stuff that they’re going through.

I will face all my struggles head on. Alone. 

No one’s gonna save me. 

Only I can save myself. 


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