Shut up brain

It took half of the first chapter of Mel Robbins Stop Saying You’re Fine to feel alive again. To feel unstuck. To think up ways out of my current hole.

I felt Alive.  I felt excited. 

Enter crisis: I got too excited to sleep.

This snowballed into too tired to gym. Too tired to cook. Must sleep early. 

Day one was manageable with only 3 hours of sleep but I failed on waking up early and not hitting snooze.

But not sleeping well on night two because my head was whirring with ideas has left me a zombie. Grumpy.  Tired. Unproductive. 

I also hit snooze about five times this morning and was late for work.

This is a problem. 

Being this tired makes me want to eat everything I see and stuff my face with sugar. 

There’s a girl at work who’s started gyming faithfully.  Every morning.  I look at her and I feel annoyed.  We were meant to start together. When I was hyped, she wasn’t.  Then she found someone else to drive her around.

Everyone has their own journey. 

I always wanted to be something great.  The youngest person to write a book. The youngest person to make a movie. I’ve missed it now.  And I’m okay with that. 

I just need to get sleep so that I too can start my journey to success. 

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